Time : 09:05 AM. August 22nd, 2019.

Just a year ago around this time I was lying in the hospital bed ,getting all prepped up for the surgery. Everyone was getting ready for the angel who is being sent to light up my world.

It all started around two years ago. We were trying for a baby , one of the most stressful periods of my life. Doctor’s appointment, medications , ovulation sticks, praying and constant series of disappointments…now that I’m thinking about it…it still gives me chill. I wanted you so bad , Isabella. When everything failed , my gynecologist advised us to go for IVF (in vitro Fertilization). She saw the constant disappointments in my eyes and saw no point in wasting any more time. Because they didn’t find any cause that can be cured, it was just. not .happening ! So I called the doctor’s office and made an appointment for consultation for IVF. That particular month I was very relaxed cause by then I’ve lost all hopes to conceive naturally. God was smiling at my foolishness, just when I lost all of my hopes I got pregnant.

To be honest I was more relieved than happy at that point. We went to our 8 weeks doctor’s appointment and then 10 weeks doctor’s appointment but no heart beat. I was scheduled for a D&C. I was feeling sad and numb.I guess God was smiling again because he had better plans for me.

Next month I got pregnant again. This time with you ,Isabella. You are my rainbow baby. I’m not gonna lie the first three months was terrifying for me. I was in constant fear of losing you. One day when I was at the kitchen and I felt sudden gush of blood coming out. It was so much blood. I was screaming. Your father rushed back from the hospital I couldn’t believe how much blood I was seeing. We both were terrified. Made a quick trip to the hospital and guess what, your heartbeat was loud and strong. It was better than Chopin, my love.

My feet got very swollen , almost like elephant feet at the night of my baby shower. Everyone said rest , it will go away. After three/four days I wasn’t feeling alright, I checked my blood pressure which was very high. So I made breakfast for your dad and told him that I’m going to the hospital for a check up and should be back in an hour. After about three weeks stay at the hospital with a thousand cables attached to my belly for continuous monitoring, you came into this world on August 22nd . It was 9:15 AM . I got to see you three days after. After rocking the NICU for 4 weeks we brought you home on September 24th, 2018.

Today you are one. You have six teeth and a head full of hair. You love eggs , cheese ,puffs and chocolate milk. You can crawl, cruise, say mama, dada, gaga . You love music and dancing ,your favorite song is “Wheels on the bus” ! Whenever you’re happy ,you dance a little . You call Bacchus TaTa. Every morning you try to play with Bacchus while he just sits there like a saint and tries very hard to avoid you. Sometimes you try to kiss me and feed me ! I’m not bragging but you are obsessed with your mama. I’m perfectly okay with the fact that it’s not going to be the same after couple of years but first few years are mine! Isn’t that amazing?

The way you hug me and look for me , I’ve always wanted to be hugged that way. Thank you for coming into our lives. Whenever I feel like I’m good for nothing ,you look at me like I’m a super hero. I may have birthed you but with you I was reborn as a stronger, more resilient, matured and a way more happier self. So thank you.

Mommy, Abbu and Bacchus loves you very, very much.

Ma